Week 5 – Day 1 MY HOUSE
Focus: Taking care of your body honors God
Scripture: Prayerfully read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. Ask the Father what you need to do to take better care of your body.
THE PHYSICAL ATTACK OF STRESS
Eight a.m. already feels like afternoon to Janet! Before leaving for work at 6:30 a.m., she washed a load of clothes and got things ready to cook dinner for her family that evening.
Now at work, the list of things she needs to accomplish seems endless. Just thinking about the day ahead makes her exhausted. She can’t imagine how she will accomplish everything that needs to be done before the end of the week.
Lately Janet’s been plagued by physical problems. Her exhausted body cries out through headaches, backaches, and should and neck tension, not to mention sheer depletion. Her family has noticed that she’s not taking care of herself and has encouraged her to get some rest and relaxation. That sounds like good advice, but Janet feels there’s simply no time to take care of her physical needs in her hectic schedule.
To what degree do you identify with Janet? Mark the continuum below.
1 -----------------------------------------------2---------------------------------------------------3
Not at all somewhat right on!
Below are physical problems many women have noticed during hectic and fast-paced days. Circle the ones you’ve experienced.
Stomach cramps muscle twitches
Headaches blurred vision
Shortness of breath shakiness
Fatigue unexplained rash
Neck pain Jaw pain
Racing pulse other ___________________
GOD’s TEMPLE
First Corinthians 6:19 says, “your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit”. As I grasp that really it becomes my personal goal to take care of my body. I love God, I love His Holy Spirit. I can honor Him by taking care of “His earthly house”: my body.
Can you identify with any of the following? Check all that apply
o Not getting enough sleep
o Rarely exercising
o Eating too much
o Not taking time to relax
o Not eating a balanced diet
Are any of these areas contributing to your frazzledness? If so, circle them.
It was all Libby could do to keep up with the demands at work and manage her household. Because of her busy lifestyle, she viewed an exercise program as a luxury. She hardly had enough energy to fix an evening meal, let alone exercise after a hard day at work. Already she was missing sleep by staying up late to take care of things around the house.
During lunch break Libby usually grabbed fast food while she was running errands. Sometimes she stopped at these same fast-food restaurants after work to buy supper for her family. She often resented some women seemed to have time to exercise regularly and fix nutritious meals for their families. Those women weren’t as busy as she was! Libby felt that she didn’t have time to eat right, exercise and get enough rest.
Do you believe God wants you to take care of your body? Yes, No or I’ve never thought about it.
In which of the following areas do you need to set goals that will help you better care for yourself physically?
o Eating
o Sleeping
o Exercising
o Resting
Ignoring any one of these areas can make you tense, irritable and unable to tackle even little things. The longer these areas go unattended, the more your body, your emotions, and your mind will suffer.
Remember 1 Corinthians 6:20? “Glorify God in your body.” That’s not a suggestion from Him for when you have time: it’s a command straight from Scripture to take care of your physical house! Women who exercise regularly, eat nutritiously, and get enough sleep are better equipped to deal with stress on a daily basis.
This week we will continue to explore the need to take care of the spiritual house. I pray that you will approach these days with a teachable spirit., asking God to show you ways you can take better care of yourself.
What is God revealing to you through today’s study?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer.
Dear Father, I confess that I need to take better care of Your temple, my body. Show me how to do this. There doesn’t seem to be enough time for me to take care of myself in the ways we’ve studied today. Show me how to honor You by taking care of my body. I love you.
Week 4 – Day 5 Loving Others
Focus: Loving others will become easier and more natural as I make sitting at the feet of Jesus a priority.
Scripture: Read John 15. Ask the Father to fill you with the knowledge of His love.
PEOPLE CAN HURT OUR FEELINGS
During a phone conversation, a friend mentioned her church has family night suppers each week. One particular evening she and her husband ate with a group that engaged in conversation with everyone at the table except them. She described how lonely and out of place she felt.
Describe a time you felt lonely when surrounded by people.
HE’S PREPARING A PLACE FOR YOU
As I hurt for my friend who felt alone. I remember the words of Jesus to His disciples in John 14:2; “I am going away to prepare a place for you.” Those words are not just for the disciples but are for you too! He’s preparing a special place just for you, where there will be no loneliness, no people competing with one another, no hurt feelings – just harmony and acceptance in Jesus.
Just imagine! When you enter the marriage feast of the Lamb, as described in Revelation 19, Jesus will be there. He is saving a place just for you. I imagine there will be much laughter and music and many conversations, but the King of Kings and Lord of Lords will offer YOU a special seat, as if you were the only one there.
According to Revelation 2:17, Christ will give you a new name written on a white stone andonly known to you and Him! You will never again feel left out, unwanted, overlooked because Jesus Himself will bring you into His presence and surround you with His Love.
Read Revelation 19:6-8. List feelings that come to mind as you imagine yourself dressed in the fine white linen Christ Himself has given you to wear.
Focusing on this heavenly scene, knowing it will last for eternity helps me deal with the stress I fill face until then. When I look at my “people” problems in this light, I can get through the difficult times because of Christ’s love and the promise of spending forever with Him.
Following are some strategies that help me. Perhaps you’ll find them useful too.
MAKE IT NOT MATTER
Sometimes people do things that hurt us. When this happens to me, I pray, “Lord just make it not matter to me.” I have a tendency to get my feelings hurt easily. So when I am consumed with my self- pity. I pray this prayer and believe the Lord will lift the burden of self. He does!
Describe a recent situation in your life when praying this prayer would have been helpful.
WALK AWAY BEFORE YOU BLOW UP
If you feel your emotions soaring and your fuse lighting, remove yourself from the situation. Walking away takes determination but is well worth the effort. When you calm down you can think more clearly, and you will have time to talk to the Lord before you speak.
How often do you walk away before you blow up in the following examples
F=Frequently O = Occasionally or S = Seldom
______husband _____children
______at work _____with strangers
DEEP BREATHE
If you begin to feel uncomfortable in a situation, take several deep breaths. This will help your blood and oxygen flow more freely to your brain, and will help you think more clearly. You DO want to think before you speak, right?
DEAL WITH YOUR NEGATIVE ATTITUDE QUICKLY
Don’t allow negative thinking to find a home in your heart and mind. These disruptive thoughts can cause brain-drain. Replace them with something positive like a Scripture or pleasant thought.
Are you wasting energy by harboring negative thoughts about someone? Write two ways you can “spend” your time and energy on positive thinking.
1.
2.
IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT QUICKLY
Admitting you are wrong shows your willingness to behave in a Christ-like way. You model His compassion and forgiving nature as well.
Share a situation that could have been resolved more quickly if you had admitted you were wrong.
The words Jesus spoke to You are recorded in John 15:3, “You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.”
What do you think this verse in relation to “people difficulties?”
When you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He cleaned you up and filled you with His righteousness, He knows your personality, and He knows the problems you experience. If you focus on Him by worshiping Him, loving Him, and seeking His guidance, he will empower you to get along with others – no matter how difficult they may be.
What is God revealing to you during today’s study?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Father, Your love is growing inside me. I’m beginning to see people through Your eyes. Thank You. Keep me steady and seeking Your wisdom as I grow in my earthly relationships, I love You.
Week 4 Day 4 This is My Part
Focus: Focusing on Christ and heavenly things will help me love others the way Christ intends for me to love.
Scripture: Spend a few quiet moments with the Father, asking Him to speak to you as you read Colossians 3:1-17.
GUIDELINES FOR HOLY LIVING
Paul is a great letter writer. He gives encouragement and something for the reader to hang on to. Then he fills his letters with practical applications of how we should live. Let’s explore some of these standards.
1. “Set your mind on what is above, not on what is on the earth” (Colossians 3:2).
A distinct connection exists between getting along with others and focusing on heaven. It’s difficult to focus on things above when you are being mistreated on earth! When human emotions are aroused, it takes self-restraint to focus on heaven and behave with a heavenly mindset.
Describe a time when you were mistreated and wanted to react in kind. How did you handle your emotions?
2. “put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)
Is there a situation in your life now where you can practice these things? Yes or No Explain
Are you willing to try? Yes, No or Not now WHY?
3. “Just as the Lord had forgiven you, so also you must forgive” (Colossians 3:13)
If you’ve been deeply wounded physically or emotionally, it is difficult to forgive – particularly if the person who hurt you has not accepted responsibility for his or her behavior. The Father knows and understands your hurt and disappointment. However, He still asks you to forgive. He wants you to forgive because IT IS GOOD FOR YOU. You are in no way justifying the other person’s behavior when you forgive. By letting go of your hurts, you are cleansing your heart and freeing your soul of the torment forgiveness breeds.
God is the Righteous Judge. All people report to Him – not to you. He can create a forgiving spirit within you. Ask Him. He will bless you for your obedience.
4. “Let the peace of the Messiah … control your hearts” (Colossians 3:15).
Don’t you long for the peace of Jesus? As you become more intimate with the Savior, you will begin to experience His peace in indescribable ways. As you set aside a time each day to worship Him, to thank Him, to recognize Him as the Lord of your thoughts, emotions, behavior – your life – you will gradually move into a peaceful state of living. You’ll find that as stressors hit, your reaction will be softened and seasoned with God’s grace. It’s the gift of being in His presence. It’s the gentleness of Jesus. We “are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18).
Think of an area in your life where you are at your wit’s end. The stress affects your relationships. Imagine yourself transformed into God’s likeness with “ever-increasing glory.” How is your situation different? Are you different? Explain.
5. “Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17).
This verse has many practical applications. Right now, simply consider your relationships.
Consider your role in the relationships listed below. Write the number which best describes how frequently you “behave in the name of Jesus” in those relationships. 1. Always 2 usually 3 sometimes 4 rarely 5 never
____husband _____friends ______ children
____parents _____siblings ______neighbors
____acquaintances _____coworkers ______strangers
Did you find room for improvement? What is God revealing to you today to help you deal with people stress?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer.
Dear Father, I’m beginning to see others through Your eyes. Continue to show me all You want me to know about getting along with the difficult people in my life. I belong to You. So do they. Thank You for Your love.
Week 4 – Day 3 Compassionate Living
Focus: Experiencing God’s peace in relationships as we learn to feel and show compassion
Scripture: Spend a few moments with the Father as you prayerfully review Romans 12:9-21.
This week we’ve discussed getting self out of the way in order to experience God’s peace in our relationships. One of the ways we can do this is to consider the needs of the other person.
When I taught school I realized that kids misbehaved for a reason. Maybe things were horrible at home or maybe their best friend had just lied to them or maybe they were upset with being falsely accused. Whatever the problem, I had to look deeper than their misbehavior in order to help them. I had to understand why they were behaving the way they were.
Focus on someone you know who is “misbehaving.” List some things that person is doing that bother you. Be specific.
You have no idea what others are going through. Each person you meet may carry a heavy burden.
Pause now in prayer. Think of a person who normally bothers you, and lift this person to the Father. Ask Him to show you how to put your feelings aside and be an encouragement to this person.
Check the examples that show what it means to bless.
o Jess arrived at work early to get some things done before her fourth grade class came wandering in. When she got her classroom, the cleaning staff was just beginning to clean her room. She stormed in and said, “Couldn’t you guys have done this yesterday after school?”
o It was mid-morning on the last day for the month’s bills to be paid at City Hall. Janie was primed for the stampede of complaining customers who are always seemed to show up at her window. Today was no different. She greeted each person warmly. If they smiled, she smiled. If they frowned, she still smiled.
o Wanda was preparing supper after an exhausting day when the phone rang. She always answered the phone if her children were away from home, in case they needed her. Picking up the phone, she was greeted by the voice of a telemarketer. Wanda shouted into the receiver, I wish you people would stop calling here!”
o Doris couldn’t wait for her son to get home from school. She had some exciting news to tell him about a family trip they were planning. As Jason opened the door, she blurted, “Hey, Honey! I’m so glad you’re here!” Jason immediately retorted, “Mom, it’s so annoying when you jump on me as soon as I walk in the door!” Doris smiled, patted his arm and walked into the other room deciding to talk about it later.
Isn’t it easy to bless those who are kind to you and pleasant to be around? On the other hand, if someone is persecuting you, you are likely experiencing pain, suffering and great distress. These feelings may affect you physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. It takes supernatural; power to bless those who are inflicting pain!
How often do you bless those who persecute you? Circle the number.
1 2 3 4 5
Not at all all the time
LEARNING HOW TO BLESS
Perhaps the Holy Spirit is creating a desire within you to bless others – even those who are hurting you.
Romans 12:16-21 offers excellent teaching about blessing, others. Choose five of these directives and make your own checklist. You may want to write them on a card for quick reference throughout the day.
1._______________________________________________________________
2._______________________________________________________________
3.________________________________________________________________
4.________________________________________________________________
5.________________________________________________________________
Before you can confidently “build other up,” you must have the desire to get self out of the way and love with the love of Jesus. If blessing others becomes your goal, it becomes your ministry. Take the initiative to bless, not to curse. You will gradually move from “It’s all about me” to “it’s all about Jesus.” Building others up with blessings is more than being tolerant of others; it’s loving the way Jesus loved!
What have you learned this week that will help you deal with stressful relationships?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Father, Please show me how to love as You love. As I Grow in the process of getting self out of the way, teach me to look for ways to encourage others and help them discover Your love. I love You.
Week 4 – Day 2 Depends On Me
Focus: Learning to do my part to get along with others
Scripture: As you read Romans 12, ask the Father to show you how to live in harmony in your relationships.
The Book of Romans is a personal letter from Paul to the church in Rome. In chapter 12 Paul addresses the differences in people. We may have different spiritual gifts, different behavioral styles, and different ideas of right and wrong. But Paul encourages believers to aggressively reach out to others through Christ’s love, regardless of differences.
DIFFERENCES CAN CAUSE CONFLICT
In this study, we have discovered that many women become frustrated because of differences in people. Perhaps you are experiencing similar frustrations.
Circle the words that represent people who frustrate you.
Husband children coworker boss
Parent sibling customers church people
Neighbor other drivers telemarketers friend
Other_________
Underline the words and phrases that describe those who frustrate you.
Messy too talkative unorganized
Don’t care indecisive don’t help around the house
Too quiet unappreciative never want to talk about things
Argumentative bossy take too long to get things done
Too orderly other _________
In working with women I have found the women often determines the attitude in the home. I’m not sure why that’s the case, but I’ve noticed it often is. I realize that when everyone comes home after a busy day, my attitude sets the tone for the family’s mealtime conversations.
Paul speaks directly to us in Romans 12:18 “If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.”
Our responsibility in any relationship is to live at peace. Let’s explore this concept more deeply as we consider your personal role in getting along with others.
Write the names of three people with whom you are experiencing difficulty. (These may or may not be the same people you listed yesterday)
1.
2.
3.
Within these relationships, how are you feeling? Check all that apply.
o Irritated
o Misjudged
o Angry
o Overlooked
o Unappreciated
o Like my feelings don’t matter
o Like I’m responsible for everything
o Other ______________________
According to Romans 12:28 what is your part in getting along with these people? To ________
____________ _______________________ with them.
One of the ways to do that is to get self out of the way!
DOES IT HURT THE CAUSE OF JESUS, OR DOES IT HURT ME?
Dana works hard in her church. She works in the nursery, helps clean up after church suppers, sings in the choir, and facilitates women’s Bible studies. Many women regularly attend the studies she leads because they learn a lot from Dana and enjoy the things she shares.
Recently another women’s Bible study was offered at the same time as the one Dana is leading. Dana learns a week before the new study begins that most of the women who regularly sign up for her studies are enrolled in the new class.
If you were Dana, how might you feel? Write two sentences expressing your feelings.
The normal human reaction would probably be one of hurt. Maybe Dana wonders if she has offended the ladies who regularly attend her studies. She may be tempted to confront them about why they no longer want to be in her class.
Could the hurt Dana experiences (justified or not) possibly cause her to be self-absorbed? Yes or No
What about the relationships that are causing you hurt, frustration, anger, disappointment, fear, heartache? Are your feelings causing you to take your focus off Jesus by becoming self-absorbed?
These self-feelings are normal. They are part of being human. But to live at peace with everyone, we must stop focusing on ourselves and start focusing on Jesus.
When I suffer pain in a relationship, I am learning to ask the question. “Is the cause of Jesus being hurt or are my feelings being hurt?” When I am preoccupied with myself, my peace drains away. By moving self out of the way, I can turn the situation over to Jesus and let Him handle it.
I realize this can be a difficult and slow process. The time it takes to get rid of self depends upon your degree of hurt. It may help to remember that by giving up self you are in no way justifying the other person’s behavior. You are simply following the commands of Scripture to “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse … do not repay anyone evil for evil … do not avenge yourselves” (Rom. 12:14, 17, 19).
Think about the three people you listed on page 59. Write their initials in the following blanks.
As far as it depends on me, I will live at peace with _____________
As far as it depends on me, I will live at peace with _____________
As far as it depends on me, I will live at peace with _____________
TRY THIS TODAY
When you encounter someone who frustrates you, make a point to be especially kind to that person. Perhaps that individual really needs to be shown kindness. Consider such an opportunity a gift from the Father’s chance to put self aside, practice His love, and experience His peace.
What is God revealing to you in today’s study?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Father, Thank You for creating us. I’m giving You my people problems. Please help me see people through Your eyes and with Your love. You are the peace in all of my relationships. I love You.
Week 4 – Day 1 Living Peacefully
Focus: finding peace with self leads to peace with others.
Scripture: After reading John 14:1-27, ask the Father to help you identify areas where you feel insecure and troubled.
A few words spoken by another can throw you off track and disrupt your peace. Jesus’ words had this effect on His disciples as He prepared them for His heavenly departure.
Identify a time when you experienced great pain from the words of another. Circle the words below that best describe how you felt.
Shocked judged angry sad
Mistreated condemned undeserving wounded
Frightened confused overwhelmed convicted
Surprised attacked wronged alone
Hurt betrayed embarrassed other___________
How do you think your feelings matched those the disciples experienced as Jesus explained His departure?
WHAT ABOUT ME?
The disciples left everything to follow Jesus. Then Jesus told them He was going away. He was actually leaving them! Philip and Thomas spoke for the group in verse 5 and 8. They desperately wanted to understand Jesus, and they wanted an answer to the question: “What about me?”
Self lies at the heart of many problems we face in dealing with people. We want to know: Why are you telling me this? What am I supposed to do? How should I feel? Who is going to help me? Why don’t you understand me? Don’t you care about me? What’s going to happen to me?
Think of a situation in your life when you asked similar “self” questions. What questions did you ask?
Sharon works in an office with five other people. They often have lunch together and chat during breaks. Recently Sharon realized that Alesa is acting differently toward her. She seldom speaks and when she does it’s with a condescending tone. Alesa’s unfriendly attitude is beginning to bother Sharon. She wonders what happened to cause Alesa’s actions.
Think of a time someone’s attitude made you wonder why he or she was acting a certain way toward you. Check the questions you asked yourself.
o Why am I being treated this way?
o What did I say or do?
o What did someone else say about me?
o What can I do to make everything okay?
o Other _____________________________________
JESUS OFFERS HIS PEACE TO YOU
“Peace I leave with you; My (own) peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid. (Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled)” John 14:27
Circle the words in the above passage that describe how you felt in a recent unsettling situation involving another person,
Jesus said we don’t have to be troubled, afraid, agitated, intimidated, or unsettled. He has given us His peace! Just like the disciples and Sharon, we sometimes let the words and behaviors of others cause us to feel confused. It’s good for us to recognize our unsettled feelings, but it’s not, productive to get self-absorbed in the process.
When we move our focus from self to the peace that Jesus offered, we open the door to understanding by getting self out of the way. Take a look at John 14:16. Jesus told us we are not alone in achieving peace. He has sent a Comforter, Counselor, Helper, Strengthener, and Standby to remain with us in every situation we face.
Are you experiencing people difficulties? If so, write the initials of three people who come to mind.
1. _________________ 2. _______________________ 3. ______________________
Focus on one of the people you just listed. To what degree are you troubled in that relationship? Circle the number
1 2 3 4 5
Not troubled very troubled
We will continue to explore ways to achieve God’s peace in our relationships. Lift the particular person you identified to the Father. Ask Him to lead you to a place of peace so you may be a witness for Him in this relationship. Rest assured that the Holy Spirit is by your side to give you all the help you need.
What is God revealing to you in today’s study?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Father, Thank You that Your peace is available to me. I know You love me. I know You love all Your children. I realize it’s Your desire that I do my part to get along with _________________. Be my helper as I give this relationship to You. I love You.
Week 3 Day 5 – My Time Belongs to God
Focus: Managing my time is a big part of managing myself.
Scripture: Prayerfully read Psalm 27. Ask God to speak plainly to you, filling you with His hope and encouragement.
LIFE IS DIFFICULT AT TIMES
For three weeks Patti had gotten up early each morning to have time along with God. She felt good about the new direction in her life. Her stress level and the way she handled herself during the day seemed different. But last week her mother went into the hospital and everything changed. Patti no longer experienced the depth of peace she had before the event. She was racing around, daily spending time at the hospital and caring for her family. What went wrong?
Can you identify with Patti’s feelings of doing things “right” and still experiencing a lack of peace because so much is crowded into your day? Yes or No
Describe a time in your life when you experienced similar frustrations.
Many times circumstances seem to fire at us like an enemy attacking. During some seasons, the daily pressures of getting things done will get you down. Sometimes extra work and duties will be required because of unexpected events as well as the events for which you plan. During these times, you may feel you need 48 hours in a day to accomplish all you need to do.
Have you ever felt like you needed twice the hours in a day to get things done? Yes or No – If so, describe the circumstance.
Circle the events that have caused you to feel especially pressured about time.
Caring for a sick parent planning a wedding
Going back to school renovating a house
Raising children hosting a party
Starting a business doing yard work
Moving changing careers
Taking a trip Other__________________________
Managing Self
If time seems out of control, it may be that you are out of control. Perhaps you can eliminate some of your time stressors. Seek the Lord’s guidance in what needs to go. At times you do not have control of time factors, but you do have control of your reaction to circumstances. Take another look at Psalm 27:3-5
What is the one thing the psalmist asks of the Lord? (v.4)
Who will keep you safe in the day of trouble? (v.5)
“Managing self” means to do what I can do with me when I can’t do anything about the circumstances surrounding me.
As you have talked with the Father this week regarding the time issues in your life, did He tell you to let go of something? Yes or No – If yes, what is it?
Have you obeyed Him? Yes or No
Are there other areas you cannot let go of but need God’s peace to get you through? Explain.
The description found in Psalm 27:5 truly speaks to me. At times I cry out to my Heavenly Father to “Come get me” and set me high above my circumstances, bringing me close to Him!
HE Father gave me a powerful visual to help me see He indeed is ALL I need as I travel through stressful times. Though I was pulled and stretched in many directions, I simply cried out to Him to restore my joy and peace – not to mention my sanity.
When my focus shifts from Him, my energy is divided and my stress is multiplied. As long as He is central to my thinking and my commitment, I experience His peace and joy – no matter what else is going on in my life.
When you keep your focus on Jesus, He fills you with a peace and joy the world cannot give.
Place a check by the desires which describe your longings right now.
o I want Jesus to life me above my circumstances
o I want His peace and joy in all the things I’m doing.
o I want His energy to fill my body so I can accomplish all I must do.
o I want freedom from self-condemnation.
o I want to enjoy life with Jesus, my family and friends.
The Father will not turn His back on the longings of your heart. Love Him, trust Him, be strong, and take heart as you focus on Him. Pray Scripture to Him. Think about Him. Bask in His love.
What is the Father revealing to you today?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Lord, Thank You for being the Lord of my time. Restore my joy, peace, and sanity. Give me insight and persistence to keep my focus on You. Fill me with assurance of Your love and Your desires for me. I love You.
Week 3 – Day 4 Blessed by God
Focus: Finding beauty in the consistency of the relationship
Scripture: Read Proverbs 31:10-31. Ask God to fill you with spiritual excitement as you row in the qualities of His ideal women.
Comparing Myself to Others
Sue’s heart sank as she considered the description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. She has recommitted her life to God, asking Him to show her how to be the woman He wanted her to be. She also asked Him to show her how to get everything done on a daily basis, glorifying Him in the process. She was flooded with feelings of guilt and self-doubt as she read through the qualities of God’s ideal woman.
Have you ever compared yourself with a woman you perceived as “better “ at doing things God’s way? Yes or No – If yes how did that make you feel?
Place a check by the statements you felt verified her superiority to you.
o She’s always in a good mood
o Her children are well behaved
o Her house is always clean
o She is organized
o She gets so many things done.
o Everybody likes her
o She is close to God
o She’s the perfect wife
o She never gets upset
o Her clothes are always in style
o Other
Did God tell you to compare yourself to this woman? Yes or No. Explain.
At times God may give you an example in another person. He may speak to you through the words or lifestyle of that person, drawing you to His character. Other times you may initiate that comparison and the focus becomes jealousy and self-pity because you can’t seem to “measure up.”
God gives you the picture of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 because He longs for you to experience the glories of living such a life. He has specific plan for you at this precise time in your life.
GOD’S IDEAL WOMAN
She was up before dawn
She had her own garden
She made clothes for herself and her family
She owned and ran her own business
She was a wonderful homemaker
Her husband praised her
Her children adored her
She was intelligent
She took care of the physical needs of her family
She spoke with wisdom
She helped others
She was in shape – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
She feared God.
Draw :) Smiley face beside the characteristics you are pretty good at “pulling off.” How many do you have left? __________________
How do you see your potential to become the ideal woman? Check one.
o There’s hope for me. I think I can become God’s ideal woman.
o Maybe – with a lot of work – I can become God’s ideal woman.
o Nope. I can’t do it. I’ll never be what God wants me to be.
You CAN become the ideal woman – not because of what you can do but because of who he is.
Look back at the characteristics describing the mega-woman. Knowing what Scripture says and knowing the focus of this Bible study, what do you see as the most worthy and admirable descriptive?
She ______________ ________________!
She feared God. According to the Amplified Bible, the virtuous woman worshipfully feared the Lord. She put God at the top of her priority list. Only one thing is mentioned in Proverbs 31:30 as making her value “for above rubies” – her spiritual life. It ALL goes back to sitting at the feet of Jesus!
As you worship Him, read HIS Word and seek His counsel. God will tell you what things should be part of your life. Planting your garden may sow seeds of kindness through a volunteer project or might show particular interest in a family member’s activities. Being a wonderful homemaker may offer daily encouragement to your husband, listen to your children pour out frustrations about friendships, or write encouraging notes.
You will be strengthened spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically as you make God-time your top priority.
Look at the following phrases taken from The Amplified Bible of Proverbs 31. Write M for mental, P for physical, E for emotional and S for spiritual beside the statements you believe describe that characteristic.
“She rises while it is yet night and gets spiritual food.
“She considers a (new) field before she buys … not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties.”
“She girds herself with strength … physical fitness for her God-given task and makes her arms strong and firm.”
“She looks well to how things go… the bread of idleness, (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.”
In which area – mental physical, emotional, spiritual – do you most need strengthening? Explain.
Be affirmed and encouraged, dear Sister. God longs for you to experience peace in your daily activities. He wants your life to be filled with joy, not turmoil and panic. He invites you to the place of ultimate comfort, rest, fulfillment, and excitement: His presence.
What is the Father speaking to you as you come to the end of today’s study?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Father, I know, You have a specific plan for me on a daily basis. I realize You will never make me place You as priority of my life. I ask that You continue to draw me to You and give me joy and excitement as I think about spending time with You. I love You.
Week 3 – Day 3 The Core of the Problem
Focus: Determining the things God wants me to do right now
Scripture: Prayerfully read Isaiah 55, asking your Father to open the eyes of your heart so he may speak to you.
Emily managed to get away from her family to attend a women’s retreat for the weekend. As she sat in the crowded auditorium with other women who shared the same frustration of having too much to do and too little time, she heard these words. “God will not bless you in doing the things He has not called you to do.” Emily was stunned. Her life was full of good things. Could it be God didn’t want her to do all these things?
Do you, like Emily, have a life filled with doing good things? Yes or No
Check the “good things” that apply to you. Add others that are not listed.
o Teaching Sunday school
o Mentoring
o Volunteering
o Working outside home
o Leading youth
o Being a wife
o Serving on a committee
o Joining clubs
o Being a mother
o Being a friend
o Singing on Praise Team
o Tutoring
o Serving in a civic organization
Others
TOO MANY GOOD THINGS
I know many women who have filled their lives with too many good things! Many Christian women, swallowed up in an endless array of duties, responsibilities, and service, miss out on God’s best for them. This plethora of activity often steals their creativity, their play-time, their joy, and leaves them physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually depleted.
Do you feel depleted?
GOD HAS AN INVITATION FOR YOU
Through Isaiah, God issues an invitation to all who are thirsty, to all who are not satisfied with life, to all who are too busy to enjoy life , His peace and joy. I assure you if you are anxious, pressured, and depleted by the demands placed on your life right now. God has something better in mind for you. Too little time is not actually the problem. The core of the problem may be having too much to do!
God does not want you to do every good thing. I can’t tell you what you should do, but He can. That’s why you must check His thinking and seek His counsel in everything you do. Isaiah 5:6,8 admonishes us to seek the Lord and consider His thoughts and ways. He alone can tell you what you need to be involved in during this time in your life.
Seek the Lord
List your role in each of the following area. Skip those that don’t apply.
Family:
Church:
Career:
Community:
Schools:
Friendship:
Volunteer work:
Other:
Reread your list and place a check by the areas where you may be overcommitted. Take time with the Lord, seeking His direction. Remember, sitting at His feet and seeking His counsel are to your advantage!
After your prayer time, share what the Father is revealing to you. Are there areas He wants you to give up? Are you affirmed in your roles in other areas?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with this prayer:
Dear Father, I now understand the importance of seeking Your counsel in every role in my life. Speak to me. Continue to show me Your plan for my life. I want Your peace.
Week 3 – Day 2 More….
Focus: Making time with Jesus a priority will lessen the pressure of time issues.
Scripture: Let the reading of Matthew 6:19-34 draw your focus to Jesus and His intense love for you. Worship Him as you Read.
NEVER ENOUGH TIME
Betty read the Sunday church bulletin that a ladies’ Bible study would begin next week. Her heart jumped with excitement as she anticipated gathering with Christian women to study and talk about Scripture. She longed to grow in her relationship with the Lord. She wanted to experience His peace and joy in her life on a daily basis.
By Thursday night, Betty was exhausted from working at her daily job and coming home to begin “second shift”: the title she gave her responsibilities at home. Once again, she shelved the idea of the Bible Study, feeling she didn’t have enough time. She would attend when life wasn’t so busy.
Write YES in the blanks beside the phrases you identify with in Betty’s story.
¾ Longing to grow in relationship with the Lord
¾ Wanting to experience His peace and joy
¾ Exhausted from working at daily job
¾ Coming home to begin second shift
¾ Not enough time for a Bible study
¾ Will join a Bible study when life isn’t so busy.
Name something you put off because you were tired and busy.
Did you go back and do it? Yes or No How do you feel about your decision?
Treasures in Heaven
I pray as you go through this week’s study you will be open to the Father’s revelation concerning time issues. He along can give you specific guidance to deal with the “time stress” in your life.
Pause and prepare your heart to receive His message for you through the Scriptures. Thank Him for caring about your time.
Consider these scenarios:
Sue’s daughter, Heather plays soccer. During soccer season Heather’s afternoon are filled with soccer practice. After work Sue goes to watch practice. She and Heather usually grab a bite to eat on the way home.
Is that an example of storing up treasures in heaven? Yes or No. Explain.
Lisa shared this with our Bible study group. “When I walked into my kitchen at 6 a.m. I looked at the dirty dishes in the sink and then my Bible. For a moment I was torn about what do. Doing the dishes would give me a head start on my day, but I wouldn’t have time for Bible study. I decided to read my Bible; I had the most wonderful experience with God. The rest of my day went smoothly because I was filled with His peace.”
Is this an example of storing up treasures in heaven? Yes or No Explain.
Have you ever had an experience similar to Lisa’s? What happened?
HAVING MORE
Both of the above experiences could be examples of storing up treasures in heaven – depending on how you use your experience to glorify God and what He wants you to do with your time.
I can’t possibly know what’s best for you in any area of your life, but your Father does. That’s why it’s so important to talk to Him about it. You will not have more time if you make Jesus a priority in your life, but the time you have will be MORE!
More is what Lisa experienced when she made time with Jesus a priority over household chores. He gave her what she needed to complete each task. What a divine thing He does for us when we spend time with Him.
How often do you make time with Jesus a priority? Circle the number.
1 2 3 4 5
hardly sometimes every Day
TURNING A MARTHA DAY INTO A MARY DAY
Jesus speaks directly to Martha in Luke 10:42, “Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.” When we daily make a divine appointment with Him, we will experience tremendous blessings to deal with our daily activities. Satan will use the “I don’t have time” attack to try to keep us from Bible study and prayer. But it’s our responsibility to make sure nothing stands in the way of our time with Jesus – especially when we don’t have time!
In what areas of your life do you specifically long to experience His blessings? Underline them.
As a mother as a wife at work cleaning house
In my friendships serving others in my time with God other____________
Do you believe spending time with Him each day will lead you to experience His blessings? Yes or No
Explain
Circle three blessings you long for right now in your life.
Peace joy patience intimacy with Jesus faithfulness
Obedience Christlike love endurance gentleness
This week’s defrazzler will help you experience greater peace in your daily activities. Some women are tempted to make only a mental list. I encourage you to write the items down daily and pray over each one. One excited Bible study member exclaimed. “This is how you turn a Martha day in a Mary’s day!”
What are some truths He is revealing to you about time issues in your life?
As you close today’s study, start your prayer time with the prayer:
Dear Father, I long for Your peace in all I do. Lord, I want to do what’s to my advantage and to Your glory. Help me commit to sit at Your feet daily. Give me the persistence to do this, especially when I don’t have time. I want to experience Your peace and joy in my life. I love You.
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